It is a frustrating problem that one cannot go for a nice walk in Downtown Santa Cruz without being accosted every ten steps for spare change, food, drugs, shoes, or even your own pants. It is horrible to realize that these people are hugely responsible for the degraded look of the city, and much of the city's crime.
     I think we can all agree that these people destroy the lively feel of the town of Santa Cruz, and further degrade the city's appearance, already brought down by drinking, drugs, and violence. No one likes to constantly hear drunken begging and pleading at your feet as you walk through the otherwise enchanting streets of Santa Cruz. The sheer number of homeless people littering the streets is deterring tourists from the beautiful town. If anyone could find a way to rid the streets of this annoyance, they would be held as a great man, or woman, whichever their sex may be.
     I have been told that there was over 4000 homeless people in Santa Cruz in 2002, and that this number will increase by 200 by 2012. This is monumental. There is hardly any other place in all of America where the number of homeless is so great. Over a third of those on the streets are under the age of 18; still but children to the city. They are forced to steal and beg everyday simply to survive. More than 50 of those homeless have children with them, and 94 of them have 2 or more kids. This leaves so many cold, uneducated, and helpless kids on the streets every night.
     I suppose others may suggest building more shelters, funding drives for food and clothes, or providing adequate housing for services to the city, but these are simply unrealistic. Nowhere would we find the amount of money required for any of these ridiculous proposals.
I will now humbly propose my thoughts on the problem, and hope you will consider them thoughtfully.
     As can be easily deduced, these people all want the same thing: food and shelter. And for food and shelter, they need money. If we were to lure the homeless into another country, this would solve all of Santa Cruz's problems. What one would have to do is attach thousands of one dollar bills to strings. These strings will be about 200 yards long, so the homeless cannot see the volunteer at the other end. We will have no problem finding thousands of volunteers for this because everyone is so eager to see the homeless so. One volunteer will stand at the end of each string, and will wait silently in the shadows. Once a homeless person has spotted the money, they will go after it and follow it to the need of the world if need be. The volunteer will walk north, dragging the money and the beggar behind him. He will head straight for Canada. The Yukon more specifically. The "Canadian government" (an elusive and sometimes mythical concept) will have no problem with this whatsoever, because the Yukon hasn't been put to use since the beginning of the Great White North's existence. The customs agents will allow them across the border without passports, due to the agreement previously made. This new population will boost the economy of Canada, which is so scarcely populated it's silly. Comments are frequently made about how California is more populated than Canada. So what better to do than take people from California, and put them in Canada? We kill two birds with one stone. The homeless will be set free into the wilderness of the Yukon, and they will not be able to cross back into the US. The Canadian border is notoriously slow-moving and difficult to pass through. Not only will these people have no passport, but they would see the long lines and eternal wait and be discouraged. They will all be able to happily frolic in the Yukon until the need of their pitiful days.
     I am not so attached to this solution that I will not listen to any other proposed. I myself live in Washington (frighteningly close to the Yukon), so this has no benefit to me whatsoever. This will only provide for the people of Santa Cruz a serenity and peace without beggars and riff-raff crowding the streets. Maybe now I'll visit.

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